A Question of Intentions

September 29, 2006

Dear Sir/Madam,

It has come to our attention that some persons question the truthfulness of our stated purpose. Perhaps they do not understand the realities of maintaining an organization as large as ourselves or the actions we must take to protect our own interests. Regardless of their ignorance, we feel that these questions must be addressed directly.

Since the conception of The Protection Initiative, we have clearly taken several benevolent steps with the sole goal of protecting Employee047 and shielding him from his condition. We would like to remind the viewing public of our release of documents that had been collected under the previous interaction policy. This information was used to reassure 047 of his position as “Emperor” and of the public’s love for him and his accepted duties. The Initiative also spent hundreds of thousands of dollars assessing the precise nature of his condition and deduced the ASCII representation to sooth and reassure. Unfortunately, to the best of our knowledge the public has yet to successfully present 047 with this wonderful image.

Proof of our intentions. Proof of our morality. Proof of our caring and nurturing demeanor. What have we done to warrant doubt?

With the sincerest of regards,

The Council for American Liberties

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A Foolish Problem

September 26, 2006

Dear Sir/Madam,

Friends, a new scoundrel has emerged to threaten the livelihood of our beloved Employee 047. An unknown person we will colloquially refer to as “The Fool” has leaked internal documents belonging to The Council for American Liberties. This highly illegal and startlingly immoral act has raised unflattering attention to 047 and his downtrodden situation. This attention could attract harm from any one of a long laundry list of individuals (omitted here for brevity’s sake). The Fool must be located and educated as to the dangers of his actions. We wish nothing more than to protect Employee 047 and strongly urge anyone who has any information on “The Fool”, such as his name or telephone number, to contact us immediately.

If we work hand in hand, there is no ravine too wide for us to traverse.

With the sincerest of regards,

The Council for American Liberties

Road to Recovery

September 19, 2006

Dear Sir/Madam,

The collection of this information is a great victory for The Initiative. It is a shining demonstration of the cooperative potential between the public and private industry. Our investigative branches have exhausted most possible leads, but we are still unclear if the pictured child is an actual representation of Employee 047’s daughter.
We have also received the results of the psychological models executed by our medical teams. Unfortunately, our deepest of fears about the mental condition of 047 have proved correct. There may be little hope in his recovery, but we refuse to concede this battle for his safety.

Our boards have proposed a method, that if followed sufficiently, may be our only hope. Through our best approximations, we believe that the familiar is the best route to his recovery. Below we have constructed an ASCII of his two beloved companions. Any individual wishing to genuinely help the impostor Norton I should strive to present him with these representations often without appearing contrived merely for this goal. Thank you for your cooperation.

With the sincerest of regards,

The Council for American Liberties

.    __
    ()'`;       __
    /\\|`   (___()'`;
   /  |    /,    /`
 (/_)_|_   \\\\"--\\\\
   We Love Bum & Laz

Dear Sir/Madam,

We are increasingly concerned about the lack of communication from 047. It has come to our attention that someone claims that items have been located after our release of information on September 17th.

Our medical review board would like to examine any additional information that may be available. Please provide additional details about what was discovered so we may continue to assist Employee 047.

With the sincerest of regards,

The Council for American Liberties

Immediate Action

September 17, 2006

Dear Sir/Madam,

Recent information has made it clear that Employee 047 is in a state of accelerated decline. The cause of this sudden change is most probably the confrontation of his delusion, despite our humble efforts to avoid such a situation. In accordance with the mandate of The Protection Initiative and other humanitarian guidelines, we have deemed it necessary release certain documents previously considered detrimental to 047. Below are digital photographs of items collected on Sept. 15, 2006 from outside 220 Golden Gate Ave., San Francisco, CA.

Wide Angle Tight Angle

(Transcript)

it’s
above
pond.
park
in
crown

Issued by the Ministry of Information
nortonthefirst.blogspot.com

The prudent course of action would be to use these documents to indulge his fantasy and repair whatever damage has been done before he harms himself or others. We would gladly host similar documents to provide easy access for others.

With the sincerest of regards,

The Council for American Liberties

Mission Statement

September 17, 2006

Dear Sir/Madam,

The Protection Initiative was founded to ensure the safety and well being of a former employee of the Council for American Liberties. His identity is under our protection and publicly we only refer to him as “Employee 047.” Recently 047 suffered a serious accident that left him mentally unstable and subject to erratic behavior. It is the mandate of The Protection Initiative to inform those who interact with Employee 047 of his condition and to provide instruction to others so they may understand the consequences of interaction with 047.

This site serves as a resource to those who have come in contact with Employee 047 so they may learn the best practices and procedures to resolve interactive situations. We welcome all to this repository of information. If you do not find answers to your questions here, please contact the Council for American Liberties at thecouncilforamericanliberties@gmail.com.

With the sincerest of regards,

The Council for American Liberties